How Are You? Cranky.

This should all have been done yesterday. Still nothing.

Hello fall, my old nemesis.

Shorter days and cold are not for me. I experience Seasonal Affective Disorder, cold makes my bones hurt deep down, and for the next several months I will have a default of moody and in pain. Winning combination, that.

I appreciate that many people enjoy fall. It’s just not the joyful harbinger of the holidays for me that it seems to be for others. And I think pumpkin spice lattes are gross. Wondering how I have any friends yet? I keep a lot of this to myself.

There is a lot of stress and busyness in my work circles right now. Fall is often a wind down into the holidays, when we start doing the fun community stuff and clients get distracted by life and shopping and apple cider and…whatever. Somehow that is not the case this year. We are really busy, my colleagues are really busy, we are putting out several project proposals for work that will begin before the end of the year and it’s all a bit of a fast balancing act.

Which is why it irritates the hell outta me that my business partner is not just handling things.

I am handling things on my side. We have a lengthy “to-do” list to get through the next three weeks and our big business development event of the year, and we designated responsibilities. None of his are done. Not one.

What I am REALLY struggling with right now is how to address this. It’s not as simple as “get your shit done.” (I know, I know, yes it sounds like it’s that easy but it’s not because of the nature of the work and the differences in our skill sets).

I have gotten us a few new clients (very grateful for every single client who chooses to trust us with their project), we need to get proposals out, I gave the content of the proposals, which means all that is left is to fill in the information in the template and send it out with a nice letter and some backup documents. This should all have been done yesterday. Still nothing. And I am about to blow my top because I am on vacation this weekend and only have so long today to deal with this.

I don’t want to be a jerk. I don’t want to be unaccommodating. I want a long term healthy and positive partnership. Except right now. Right now I want to do it myself after making cutting statements with a few terse words.


3 thoughts on “How Are You? Cranky.”

    1. Thank you so much, Laura, I always appreciate your comments.

      We did talk it over today, and he was completely on board with me, no issues. Proposals are quickly getting done, work is moving forward, clients are happy, I’m less stressed…

      I can’t quite tell if my issues (I’ll just call it that) are from cognitive distortion that is associated with anxiety, are from a lack of clear communication or are because he’s actually not following through. The situation being very different and more positive today is very different from yesterday, so I’m just kind of in a place of ??? Clear communication is the goal, we seem to do pretty well when that is happening, I think I may also be feeling that the burden of communication is always on me. Because the last several months have been really challenging due to family injuries and illness, I think I will see if I can let it go this weekend and see how I feel about it when I get back.

      Liked by 1 person

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