Restoring Through A Slow Day

In thinking about my usual impatience, speed through life and refusal to pause and enjoy…anything…(I even eat fast), I’ve been thinking about what I could do to balance that a bit.

The chasm between anxiety and sleep was wide last night. Sometimes I can’t make it stop, hence the Xanax, which still took 20 minutes to kick in because I took the lowest dose I could. Breathing, body awareness, addressing my fears with rational answers…it all resulted in tears and increasing pain. Usually means I’ve been triggered, and mastering triggers without chemical intervention is likely to be a long road for me. It’s really disappointing to start doing restorative things for myself and three days or so in have another round of severe anxiety, but as I said yesterday, sleep acts as a reset and I am back at it today, determined to stay the course.

Which brings me to my intention for today – a Slow Day.

In thinking about my usual impatience, speed through life and refusal to pause and enjoy…anything…(I even eat fast), I’ve been thinking about what I could do to balance that a bit. Even on my “days off” I have a separate list of things to accomplish that I blow through so that I can get it all done. Days off aren’t for rest, they’re for getting done the things I didn’t have time to get done while running around at high speed the other days.

This can hardly be beneficial for me.

Slow Day is an intention to set aside one day a month to be in no hurry to do anything. There will be no pressure to perform, no to-do list, no doing anything that I find disagreeable, lots of laying around, lots of slow drinking and slow eating and slow reading (I read fast too, no surprise there) and maybe some slow hiking or walking or yoga. There will be sleeping in and early to bed and maybe some knitting or coloring or other calming activity. Maybe brunch out, because is there anything slower than brunch?

Slow Day seems a good foray into slowing down generally. Slowing my mind, slowing my body, resting, restoring and taking time to meditate (a practice which still escapes me because I don’t slow down long enough to do it.) I will hopefully learn a lot from Slow Day and gain some balance to my crazy. I’ve had a lot more creative energy and problem-solving ability the last few days, so something is working. My resting heart rate is still high, but that’s an indicator not necessarily a goal at the moment.

In the middle of this I am still transitioning off of meds. I am one week into a three week process to taper off the antidepressant I have been on for two years, and some of this may be my body adjusting to the lower dose of chemicals. I’ll just have to wait that one out. Overall I think it’s a really good choice for me, just having a few hiccups on the way. But it got me to Slow Day, so even the hard things give me a reason to be grateful.

7 thoughts on “Restoring Through A Slow Day”

    1. Aww thanks! The morning was pretty good, I helped my dad take down Christmas lights and the tree and got things straightened out in my parent’s living room. I got a nasty work email meant to try to undermine my work with a client right after that needed to be addressed immediately, but responded after consulting with my business partner and now watching football. Can’t always control what happens, but working on being calm in spite of the stress!

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      1. Hey Ashley,

        I came across your blog as I just started mine today and felt very connected to it, as I too suffer from anxiety and panic. Have you found that wordpress has allowed you to connect with other people that are dealing with the same thing? I hope that I am able to find peace out of blogging in the same way that you have!

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        1. Hi Caroline! Thanks so much, I just read the first post on your new blog and I can really relate to what you wrote…I had gotten bogged down in some form of monotony (I find living with anxiety to be somewhat boring since IT NEVER GOES AWAY), and one of the great things about my experience with WordPress is that I have been able to learn so much from people who have a similar (or not) experience that I don’t have the opportunity to connect to in my regular social spheres. I was feeling really alone in my battle with PTSD and all that comes with it, then I began to read about other’s lives and it has changed mine for the better. The blogs I follow are are often about life circumstances that I relate to, but sometimes are written by people with completely different lives – and I get so much out of learning about and from them! Looking forward to sharing our experiences with what life throws at us, and thanks for reaching out <3.

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