I Packed ALL My Shoes

I’m on a work trip for two and a half days, and I have five pairs of shoes with me. My shoe bag is larger than my bag for everything else. This is not my norm.

And it’s a step forward for me, because I was raised to not be a problem, not have needs, not be an inconvenience, not take up space and not do anything that looks like self-care.

After a week in bed and in my pajamas because I wasn’t feeling well, it’s a big jump to travel for a couple of days for work and give multiple presentations of projects I’ve been working on. It’s not comfortable, and I’m already in “energy-saving mode”, my state of quiet withdrawal before I have to put on my public face and CHARM.

So I brought a bunch of shoes, including my running shoes in case I can make time for that and my furry house shoes, which are incredibly comfortable and comforting. The little steps to take care of myself and acknowledge that I need accommodation, no matter how small, are indicators of recovery.

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