Last night was rough, and being terrorized by my own brain for hours dropped my HRV from the 50s to the 30s. As with many times previously when I’ve had a bad night, this morning I was fine, if tired. I kept going with my planned to-do list, got it all done, and now, 4 hours later, I’m exhausted and ready to have another meltdown. It’s always worse when i’m tired, even if I see it coming.
I don’t want to be tired. I’d rather have the energy to go hike or something else enjoyable. But all of my energy got sucked up by terror, and I’m surprised away what I managed to get done today.