It was a good practice learning to sit with discomfort (something I am not good at) yesterday when I repaired the super foggy headlights on my car. It was getting to the point that I almost couldn’t see at night, which is not safe, especially with shorter days coming up next week. Plus I drive around rural areas a lot, and wildlife tend to lurk on the side of the road, waiting for you to pass so they can get their nightly thrills in.
Being the do it myselfer that I am, I got a kit at the auto parts store, read the instructions and set about making clear headlight lenses. 45 minutes of sanding and polishing by hand, several trips to the side of the house to refill my pitcher with water and a brief stop for a hot biscuit later, I had beautifully clear and new-looking headlights.
It was hard, it was a lot of sanding (my Fitbit thought I had run for half an hour) and I am so out of shape that it was a pretty substantial effort for me. I didn’t enjoy it, my arm got tired, I got frustrated by occasionally splashing water where I didn’t want it, I didn’t like the smell of the chemicals, I didn’t like getting the final lens coating on my ungloved hand and I didn’t like that I couldn’t just buy a new car.
But I persevered, I followed the steps, I pushed through my discomfort, and I accomplished something that is for my own benefit and well-being. Turns out, in more ways than one.
I wear a Fitbit to track my sleep and heart rate. I pay a little attention to steps and exercise, but gone is my compulsive goal-meeting to satisfy the little vibrating band on my arm. I was thinking about giving it up for a bit in an effort to listen to my body rather than a wearable tech device, and I still might, but I just learned about Heart Rate Variability (HRV) and how it can serve as an indicator of symptoms for people who experience PTSD. Per the people at Harvard:
HRV is simply a measure of the variation in time between each heartbeat. This variation is controlled by a primitive part of the nervous system called the autonomic nervous system (ANS). It works regardless of our desire and regulates, among other things, our heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, and digestion. The ANS is subdivided into two large components, the sympathetic and the parasympathetic nervous system, also known as the fight-or-flight mechanism and the relaxation response… HRV is an interesting and noninvasive way to identify these ANS imbalances. If a person’s system is in more of a fight-or-flight mode, the variation between subsequent heartbeats is low. If one is in a more relaxed state, the variation between beats is high. In other words, the healthier the ANS the faster you are able to switch gears, showing more resilience and flexibility. Over the past few decades, research has shown a relationship between low HRV and worsening depression or anxiety. A low HRV is even associated with an increased risk of death and cardiovascular disease. Read the full article here
This feels like such good news to me. It doesn’t change the importance of listening to my body, it gives me another way to listen! After a lot of research last night and this morning I ordered a heart rate monitor that can read HRV so that I can try this out. Not only can this help me understand what I’m experiencing, I can take action on that information. There are a variety of ways to improve HRV, even in the short term, for people who experience PTSD, including yoga, meditation, marathon running (not likely for me, but glad to know it’s an option!), focused breathing and other techniques that engaged the parasympathetic nervous system.
I’ve been listening to The Body Keeps The Score, and as technical as it sometimes is and as difficult as it can be to listen to, the information on managing PTSD symptoms has been really helpful to me, and I’m looking forward to trying out HRV monitoring for myself.