100 Days of Healing – Day 88

I’ve needed some space to think.

I have big dreams, great plans and a love for life bubbling up from somewhere deep. I have creativity that yearns to be expressed and a comfortable in her hard-earned skin person that wants to be seen.

I haven’t given her the space to emerge, because I’ve been covering her up, first because I thought everything was a threat and then because my protectors were disappearing and I started actually hiding from the world.

I’m learning that one of the kindest things we can do for ourselves is meet our own needs. I’m doing that by taking a well-timed opportunity for quiet and space this weekend. I stepped away from my to-do list, my chores and my habits and placing myself in a comfortable space that is a bit of a mental void. There’s only what I bring in and what I allow to stay, and helps me engage with the practice of choosing what I want to bring into my life and what I want to stay. It’s a retreat of sorts, but I’m (for once) not retreating, I’m pausing and forming so that I can step forward and live in more light than darkness.

Be kind to yourself, and give yourself what you need. You’re worth it.

100 Days of Healing – Day 73

At some point I got the message that I needed to make due with what I have. While that’s been generally good for my financial position, it’s also been a massive inconvenience.

So I bought myself a bedside lamp. Because I haven’t had one in years, even though that meant getting up to turn off my being light every time I went to bed. It’s operated by touch and small and cool and I really like it and the lighting makes a huge difference as I’m winding down for sleep. Glad I decided my comfort is worth it!