100 Days of Healing – Day 19

I hurt everywhere. My muscles, my joints, the fibers in between that I don’t know enough to name… it all hurts.

I know that the body stores trauma in connective tissue. I had body work done shortly before I started therapy. It was nearly unbearably painful, and I cried for the first few sessions. Nearly three years later (ok wow it’s been a minute) I’m thinking I need to have that done again. After processing so much trauma, I’m feeling like it’s trapped in my body and needs to be released. Even an injured finger joint that doesn’t normally hurt feels swollen and hurts. And I feel like I’ve reached max fat – I feel so puffy and tense and painful that I almost don’t recognize myself.

It’s discouraging to experience this after I’ve been working so hard, but maybe it’s necessary?