There are few things more healing than a sincere and unasked-for apology. And I really value that when I met my boyfriend for lunch to talk things out, he offered just that. Actions do really speak louder, but there are some words that cannot be replaced, and “I’m sorry” is on that list. It’s why I agreed to keep working things out, and why I’m wanting to heal our relationship rather than end it. Sorry is hard, but sorry can heal.
Somehow today ended up being the day I’ve had to stare my self-worth in the face. @#$%
The message I’ve gotten for as long as I can remember is that I’m not good enough, or I only have the value assigned to me by others. Which still means not good enough. It’s come from so many people in so many situations that I don’t even remember how it started. Trauma hit that mess with an exponential multiplier, and here I am, today, getting knocked down again with where that’s gotten me.
After some painful reflection, this might be the first day in my memory that I’m enough for me. Which means I don’t need to be good enough for anyone else. Just me.